Paul's Story

“I had a really good childhood in Warrington. I started playing tennis at four years old and went on to play internationally. Tennis gave me discipline and focus, but it was also isolating.

My dad became ill and I was bullied at school. I threw myself into tennis, chasing perfection. But when I was 17, I got injured. Suddenly, my life, which had always been structured around tennis, stopped.

I hadn’t drunk much before, but when I started, alcohol made me feel free. And when I discovered cocaine, it meant I could drink longer and avoid the hangovers.

When my dad died, I was using, and I didn’t really feel it. But when my mum died two years ago, I hit rock bottom. I was using every day, spending loads of money and getting into debt.

There’s a photo of me from that time; my skin was yellow, my eyes were open but there were no lights behind. My nose was badly damaged from cocaine. I was trying to kill myself slowly.

I was in a mental prison of my own making. I didn’t want to do cocaine anymore, but I didn’t know how to stop. I’d had such a privileged life, and now I was homeless. I lost everything and everybody. My sister and my closest friend had to walk away from me and I was alone. However, my best friend, cocaine, was still there.

One day I was outside Pathways in a lot of pain and a worker brought me in. My kidneys were failing and I was in psychosis. I thought I was going to die that day and that’s when I surrendered.

I started coming into Pathways every day, nine to five. I joined every group I could and developed a completely different mindset. I’m so grateful.

Now, I volunteer at Pathways. I help facilitate groups, support others in recovery, and do outreach visits to hostels, which I love. Working here gives my life purpose. If I can be there for even one person who finds recovery, it makes everything worth it.

I am proud to be part of this service because it saved my life.

Pathways isn’t just a drug and alcohol service; it’s a place of hope and connection. There are organised walks to the Peak District and fishing groups.

I’ve faced stigma, especially because of my nose. I used to say I was born this way but now I tell the truth. I’m proud of overcoming my problems, and I’m proud to share my experience to help others.

Before judging someone, try to understand that it’s a deeper than drugs; it’s an emotional problem. Have compassion; people are in Pathways because they want to get well. People in recovery are some of the strongest, kindest and most resilient people you’ll ever meet.

To anyone struggling: don't let what others think stop you from reaching out. Come to a place like Pathways.

People like us, who’ve been through addiction and come out the other side, are the luckiest people in the world. We get two lifetimes in one.”

Visit the Pathways to Recovery website to read more stories from people who have been supported by our service in Warrington, and discover what you can do to support a more compassionate Warrington.