Domi's Story

“I grew up with my mum and sister in a loving and supportive family. We didn’t go without anything.

My dad was a heroin user, and when I was seven, he died. Knowing what I know today, I can see that my dad was ill. I have a lot of compassion and empathy for him now.

From as young as I can remember, it felt like everyone else got a manual for life, and I didn’t. Even before I used substances, I had addictive traits. I was always chasing validation and belonging, and I started lashing out at school, using anger to get attention.

A charity introduced me to Olympic freestyle wrestling to channel my energy. I became British freestyle wrestling champion. I was dedicated; I trained five to six days a week. But politics in the sport got in the way, and I decided to hang up my boots.

I was 16, and suddenly I felt I had catching up to do so I had my first alcoholic drink. Even though I didn’t like it, it filled the hole inside me and gave me a false sense of belonging. By 21, the party lifestyle had taken over. I also struggled with my identity. I’m gay, and coming out was difficult. The fear of how people would react made me anxious, and drink soothed my anxiety.

When I admitted to doctors that I was using crack cocaine, I wasn’t treated with compassion. When you’re treated that way, you start to believe it, but what I needed was for someone to say, ‘It’s going to be okay. We can help you.’

Nobody wakes up at six years old wanting to be an addict. It’s an illness, a mental health condition, but people just see the bad behaviour, not the pain underneath.

After one long binge, I went to rehab for six months. No phone, no distractions; it was tough. I was stripped back and started to learn who I was again.

When I left, I joined Pathways to Recovery, an amazing service. I had somewhere to go every day when I was lonely and I was treated with kindness.

I wasn’t a number or a case; I was Dominique. I’ll never forget that feeling.

Pathways gave me the structure and sense of belonging that I needed. I built friendships, skills, connections. I even started an initiative where I write anonymous notes of kindness and gratitude and leave them around Warrington - little reminders that someone cares.

I’m training to be a therapeutic counsellor now and hope to go to university. I help other women in recovery to find their voices, reconnect with their children and rebuild their lives.

The best gift has been rebuilding trust with my family. My mum now goes to Al-Anon to help her heal and to understand me better, and that means the world to me. I’m so grateful to her for never giving up on me.

To anyone struggling: nothing changes if nothing changes. Take that first step and reach out to friends and family, to Pathways, to Narcotics Anonymous, Alcoholics Anonymous, or Cocaine Anonymous.

Stigma drives people into silence and shame; what saves them is compassion. You don’t have to be an expert; you just have to care."

Visit the Pathways to Recovery website to read more stories from people who have been supported by our service in Warrington, and discover what you can do to support a more compassionate Warrington.